God’s grace in greece
This is a brief record of some of the blessings our Lord Jesus Christ has given me during my stay in Greece. However, I did not write about the biggest blessing, which was the team. This was mainly because if I did, this testimony would be more than double the length. So I limited the scope of this writing on my personal walk for the intention of focus. There were many more lessons and blessings than recorded with these words (so much more), but writing them would take me longer than a week, so I just jotted down simple convictions. May the Lord Jesus bless you who read this with a heart to forget me and remember only His faithfulness and the joy that bursts from the heart of those who whole-heartedly seek His face and bravely do His will.
In America, I thought taking care of disciples while being a good student was difficult. I complained about needing coffee, about not having enough time to read the books I fancy, and about insufficient time for juggling school, home, and church life. My fundamental spiritual goal was centered around myself: maintaining and expanding my spiritual health, almost like an enterprise. Sometimes it was like I was doing spiritual activities just so I could record it later. Of course I cared about the people around me, but their well-being was not my top concern (because I was my top concern)! However, as I spent time with homeless refugees, who lacked even an extra pair of clothes, I saw that if I chose the path of disinterest and self-centeredness any longer, people would literally die. People are dying.
On the flight to Greece I did not know what to expect. I imagined a hybrid ministry, a mixture of campus and refugee work, and the occasional outreach events. When we arrived in Athens, we sent our luggage with the Missionary (an amazing man of God) and our team entered a travel bus. On this bus we saw pastoral Greece, with an occasional Ikea, slowly morph into an quasi-urban landscape, more resembling small towns in the American mid-west than metropolitan New York. Once we got off at our stop, we shuffled to the subway station, which had its surface level entrance littered with protest tents, graffiti, and large banners. Litter, grime, and discontent made the entire entrance seem unsanitary and so we scuttled along, snatching a few obligatory photos of the protest nest.
When we arrived at the missionary’s church, we were briefed and ready to work. 170 refugees would be arriving in a few hours and we were to prepare food and a presentation for them. I was part of the food team and had the opportunity to cut chicken so fresh it still had hair on it. I cleaved the chicken while some of our beloved team members cleaned off the hair or pulled out small packages of guts. Preparing this food with rice, salad, and bread took around several hours every Wednesday and Sunday.
During our first encounter with the refugees, we noticed several things. The first is the smell. The second is the friendliness of some of them. Several of the refugees are regulars in the church and very capable in cooking and other skills. We befriended several of them over the next few weeks. A slightly more subtle realization was that any person who did not come together as a family was male. Culturally, the refugee women would not travel about unless they were with their husband or children. Though it took many meetings, friendships began to develop and soon, with the help of dictionaries and friends, we were able to communicate with them.
The first day of food service was very enjoyable. The praise team blessed the name of the Lord Jesus and even seemed to uplift some of the hearts among the crowd. After a long day of of travel and work, our team enjoyed its first day of ministry and Greece.
Personally, I was convicted that a life pursuing Christ needs discipline and a heart that is willing to overcome fear. So much of life is forfeited to fear. I had to become a tougher man in pursuing hard after Christ and His glory. Glory to Jesus Christ the Lord!
The second day was our first English class. My class spent our time learning the alphabet and simple greetings. It was lovely and enjoyable. I wrote in my journal “Life here is so worshipful and I wonder how I will live once I get back to Irvine.” Already by the second day, God started to unveil my personal struggle that I would deal with during my stay in Greece: lack of faith. In the land of philosophy and theories, the living God was calling me to believe only in the Word. Yet my heart felt so hard and faithless. Bless His name, for through the Word He brought enough strength and comfort just to get through each day, every day.
By the third day, Friday, Christ was saying that true courage is trusting Christ. Confidence and fearlessness does not make an active pursuer of Christ; only trust in Christ can direct a life. But it is so hard to trust Christ beyond just my words. God also revealed on this day the importance of holiness in a man of God, a fruit of righteousness only from Christ. I saw that much of my faith in the Word was actually faith in logic and reason, not simply trusting the Word of God as the Word of God. I was too proud to admit that I simply believe the Bible because the Holy Spirit has caused my dead heart to be alive to its divine nature; I would rather spindle clever theories and deploy walls of impressive answers. God revealed to me that at every moment I must be willing to proclaim Jesus Christ is Lord based on the Truth of the Word.
God broke me this night during our Friday night Gethsemane service. I had not been living by faith; I got tired and feared being hurt again, being ridiculed again, and being exhausted again, so I started to play it safe and not by faith. But I want to live by faith.
By Saturday (4th day), I saw that the Gospel did not strike my heart anymore; His cross no longer moved me. Neither did sin. I was dead. I wanted to stab my heart and die. When asking Christ the reason for my numbness, He revealed that I was living to please myself and there was an unwillingness to relinquish the inner control of my heart. I have not been fully sold out for Christ, but only halfway. I have not been fully obedient and subservient to the Word. A time of repenting followed.
On Sunday, after wrestling with my lack of faith and whole-heartedness for 4 days now, God assured me that my faith will not be buttressed with feelings, convictions, or “fire”. It was because God wanted me to be sold out by faith, not by “fire”; faith before fire. Sunday service was blessing. Unfortunately, two of the refugees came to me and tried to discourage our ministry. It was a great opportunity to run to the Lord and cry out the Psalm, asking for strength to love adversity. The Lord heard my prayers and sent in children to the area I was resting and praying, prompting my heart to play with the children with deep love.
As days passed, I was encouraged by God through the Word in Ezra and 1&2 Timothy. We also went to visit the campus of University of Athens, but found it deserted except for a few students nursing wounds from a brawl. The campus was decorated with all kinds of communist graffiti and papers, with the occasional English expletives. That was my last day seeing the campus and the rest of the time was devoted to the refugees.
While the missions progressed, I was able to question whether the source of my strength was from Christ, or whether I was simply enduring till I returned home to comfort. Finally on Thursday night, while conducting our nightly prayers for the team, Eunice Choi, the umma soonjang, and I spent time repenting to God for our lack of deep surrendering prayers and trust in God. We spent time worshipfully praying to God and it was a time of real blessing with the Lord. I woke up the next morning with a new thankfulness to Christ for the new peace He has given us by His blood. I wanted to live more according to His Words and by His Spirit. It was Friday and we drove down to see Corinth, where we praised God together with a small church. Before the service, Eunice and I spent a while in prayer for the service. God answered mightily and the entire night was filled with joy, praise, and tears. A small church, but such a true blessing. They made food for us as well. I ate a lot.
Saturday night was an amazing night. The born-again churches of the Athens area held an annual march for Jesus Christ and gathered before a small subway station for a worship celebration. A small stage was erected and the night was underway. A congregation of so many different brothers and sisters gathered to praise Jesus. Our performances were near the end, after nearly 2 hours of other performances, but still the body of Christ was excited to worship God with us. The last group was a Gospel choir and some of the moments felt like a glimpse of heaven. Some of us (including myself) ran on to the front of the stage dancing like fools, but it was so much fun! The night ended with just an explosive joy of worship and praise for Jesus Christ our Lord. Jumping up and down and screaming Friend of God was definitely one of the highlights of my year. In the midst of Iranian, Afghan, Greek, African, and American people, one Jesus Christ was proclaimed as Lord over all humanity. Amen.
However, I felt the return to reality on Sunday, as I gave medicine to a woman who was severely burned by hot water. My disciple shared with me that some of his family members were killed by the Taliban. Many of the refugees lost family to the Taliban. Talking to the refugees drove me to the feet of God. I felt like their were a million needs. I needed Christ and His anointing, it was the perfect time to pray. My idea of ministry was in desperate need of revision. It is more than singing Western praise songs and reading yellow booklets. “God, what is ministry?” I had to also repent of the lack of Christ and Christ-exalting obedience and joy in my life. I had to repent of being so unlike Christ in serving and loving others.
Monday was our children’s VBS day. The highlight for me was wiping their faces with baby wipes before they took their pictures. I wondered if that is how You see me, Christ. Underneath dirt and dust, there is a child of God. Hours later, a man and his children came to ask for music lessons. He did not speak English, but I think this is what he was asking through his gestures. Unfortunately, VBS ended hours ago and there was no other events held that day. I watched him leave sad. Then it finally struck me. “Did I even love him?” All these thoughts raced into my mind and I wanted to smash my head into a wall. Why didn’t I stop him and share the Gospel to him? Why didn’t I ask him if he was hungry or if I could help him in any way? I was so ashamed to call myself a Christian or to claim that I knew Jesus in any way. I could have served that man so much, but I didn’t.
The next day a woman and her children came to our door. She said something about classes, which was all the english she spoke. Unfortunately we had no classes that day (or that week for that matter), so I regrettably informed her that there were no classes. But I also told her to wait and I ran upstairs, brought her a fresh package of bread and a large bottle of water. She was very happy and left. I smiled and was very glad to learn this lesson that it is a privilege to serve for Christ. As I walked up JS Gsn asked me if I had seen a woman and her children who were supposed to come for Bible study. I wanted to smash my head into a wall again.
I learned a little more about how different the refugees’ struggles are from mine. They sleep at 4am often, because they are harassed by police or beaten by fascists. They came to Gethsemane service one night because they didn’t want to be beaten outside.
In this mission field, all our refugees were collecting money to purchase counterfeit passports from the mafia, hoping to flee to Germany, Denmark, or Sweden for a better life. Ironically, most of them came to Greece in pursuit of a better life, but soon experienced the abrupt reality that entire families that traveled from Iran and Afghanistan will now be homeless in a nation where they neither know the language or culture.
Now the refugees come to our church for food, clothes, and medicine. Jobless, and most of the homeless, many of them merely migrate around the city of Athens for free food handouts. They used to have dreams; they used to have goals. I asked one of the Iranian refugees if he had any hobbies or enjoyments; he replied that all his time is spent simply gathering food.
Also around this time I felt like I was reaching my physical limit, if not already surpassed. But God instructed me that as a spiritual father, I can’t just stop. There is no time to lack confidence or initiative, to stop serving because I am tired. Real fathers continue to provide for their family even when they’re tired; when times get tough, fathers must simply toughen up. On top of that, real fathers continue to spend time with their kids through it all. God encouraged me so much through these words, and I was once again eager to get back into His Kingdom work with a renewed heart and spirit. I wanted Christ to love people through me. Then God brought Ohmid into my life.
As I shared the Persian 4 Spiritual Laws to him, Ohmid wept because of the beautiful name of Jesus Christ. He then lifted his shirt and showed a scar half the circumference of his waist he received for sharing Bibles in Iran. He suffered in prison 3 years for his faith while his friends were executed. Yet he only could proclaim, “I love Jesus” during all the torture. Here I was complaining about physical and emotional fatigue when before me was a brother in Christ who was willing to give it all for Christ! The encounter blessed and humbled me.
After that day Christ was encouraging me to see that the Gospel must be rooted and ready in my heart at all times. Any fear I have should be subservient to the name of Christ. My confidence should be in prayers, proven to be trustworthy according to the Word, and His Holy Spirit within me, working to bring glory to Christ’s name. Previously, I often wanted to live an anonymous Christian life, perhaps as a humble and faithful janitor who faithfully prayed for the church. But Jesus convicted me that He wants me to run headfirst into battle for Him every time. No matter the occupation, to live a life loud, bold, and so devoted to honoring Jesus Christ that it is offensive to a sinful and dark world.
“God, I will follow You. I want to be a man who chases after Your face and glory, holding on to the cross even if it kills me. Be bold in God’s grace and mercy. Fear not the insecurities of petty worldliness. Have a great heart, made great and fearless in God’s grace. Be like Christ. Do not fear or mind the thoughts of men. Do not value their praise of fear their disapproval. Look at Christ.”
By the next day (Thursday), God was revealing that what I love in my heart determines what will hurt me. If I desire recognition, then disapproval will hurt me. But if I desire to obey my loving and living God, to carry my cross and die to myself while loving others, and glorify Christ, then I will be hurt every time I do not run by His Word. Also spent time talking to JS Gsn, asking her to pray that I would become more submissive to spiritual authority.
Monday was our first day off from official ministry, and the first day of our time following the footsteps of Paul in Greece. It made me think about the end. As I sat writing, there were people in the world building new technologies for movies, cell phones, and weapons. Other people were making money, driving nice cars, and showing power. But one day Christ will come back and His glory will fill the sky and all creation will commence an eternal worship service of Him. But it is so hard to remember this or take it seriously because I trust myself and the Word equally! I should be completely obeying and trusting the Word instead.
We travelled to a monastery on top of a beautiful mountain. I expected a place of worship and fear of the Lord. But the entire place was a nationalistic museum infused with spiritual icons! I was distressed. But my heart is the same! I like to look like a monastery devoted to Christ on the outside, but my inside is a nationalistic museum of Daniel Yoon. The sacred walls of the temple of my own heart are adorned with thoughts of girls I like, things I want, and my own desires; Christ cleanse the temple of my heart! 2 Chronicles 34:27-28,31.
By the next day we were on the move to Philippi. We saw Brea and Neapolis on the way. I was so sick of myself and my passion for myself when I should have loved Christ more. Forgive me God. We stayed at a church in Drama, a small city near Philippi. JS Gsn asked me to lead prayer time during the service, but a somber realization weighted upon my heart, “How can someone like me lead a time of intercession to the Lord, someone as unworthy as me? Lord I fear. I know that by Your grace and blood, I am found pure, but if Your Spirit shall not lead it I cannot do it! I refuse! I am not able or worthy. Lord, I cannot do this. Have mercy on me.” God honors such helpless prayers and I trust Christ moved for His sake! Furthermore, the entire service was a great joy and blessing and the church made us feel like we were part of their family. It was a great joy to meet our brothers and sisters in Christ in this church. We slept after a blessing time of Bible study with MSN.
Our last full day of Greece, Wednesday, was finally dawning. We traveled to a small chapel built near where Paul met Lydia. In it we sang hymns to God, and it resounded beautifully, in almost heavenly worship. We also went to Thesselonica to meet the Greece CCC staff. A wonderfully blessed placed filled with hard-working brothers and sisters of His blood. God bless them. Came back to Athens near midnight and prepared to leave the next day back to America.
Psalm 25. Teach me Your paths Lord. Keep me on Your ways O Lord!
All the way for Christ. Proclaim at every step that Jesus Christ is Lord.
Lord, please keep my faithful to You all the way. I love You. Jesus Christ is Lord.
